Naruto turns everyone into animals!
by karkadann
Summary: Uh, title says it all. Same great story, now with more grammatical sense and less typos!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any mention or anything copyrighted in this story. I'm not making any money off it it, or any money at all from anything, for that matter.

Animal personality jutsu! Chapter 1

"Naruto! Get back here!"

"This is SO AWESOME!" Naruto screamed as he ran down the streets of Konoha.

Jiraiya was hot on his heels "Naruto! You can't preform this jutsu yet It takes practice, and..."

Still running toward Sasuke's house, Naruto yelled over his shoulder, "Yeah, so that's what I'm going to do! Practice, believe it! Ha Ha!"

"No Naruto, listen, this could have irreversible ..." Jiraiya's slowed as he neared the bathhouse Naruto just ran by.

'...effects. And it could..."

By this time Naruto was out of sight or at least he would be if Jiraiya was still focused on stopping him. "heeheehee" he snickered as he peered in a crack in the wall.

"Well, that takes care of him for the day." Naruto grinned as he tore through Konoha..

FlashbackFlashbackDoodleoodleoFlashbackOooOooOo

"So when are you going to teach me a new jutsu?" Naruto had been hounding Jiraiya for new jutsus since he helped him during the chunin exams.

"Kid, I've taught you like, a dozen in the last month! Some of us have jobs, you know."

"Yeah, like what? Staring at girls all day?"

"Good point. But you're already tired of all those others I showed you?"

"Totally!"

"The super-duper harem jutsu?"

"Yeah"

"The chocolate cake jutsu?"

"Ha, yeah, Choji likes that one!"

"The retard-making jutsu?"

"Yeah"

"I must have preformed that one on you one time too often."

"Hey! Aw, come on sensei!"

"I'm not your sensei."

"Whatever, I bet you're out of new ones anyway.

"What? Fine, I'll show you a new one, good grief."

Naruto squealed and pranced around with delight and Jiraiya stated making hand signs. "Animal personality jutsu!"

POOF!

When the smoke cleared, a blonde fuzzy ferret was scurrying around in circles where Naruto had been standing.

"Hmm, I was expecting a fox, but I guess this makes more sense." Ferret Naruto squeaked as Jiraiya picked him up. "Well, what do you think? How do you like being turned into the animal that best suites your personality?" Naruto was speechless, all he could do was squeak with joy.

'_Man, I'm tempted to leave him like this, then he'll quit bugging me. But I'd better not.'_

"Naruto, to change back all you have to do is eat something." Ferret Naruto wiggled to the ground and chomped down on a dandelion. No sooner then he swallowed it than, POOF! He was changed back. "Well, what did you think?"

Naruto sat there and second and them a mischievous grin slowly spread across his face...

Author's Note: Uh, can't think of anything, on the next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. No exaggeration, literally. I don't own a darn thing. Don't sue me. Cuz I'll.. what? You want to read the story? Ok.

Chapter 2

'_Oh yeah, I'm going to get Sasuke good this time, Mr. Perfect won't know what hit him.' Evil plans started running through Naruto's head. 'Ha ha, no doubt he'll turn into something totally self-obsessed like a rooster. Yeah, I bet he turns into a rooster. Everyone will be like, ' Where's Sasuke? Oh no, the Uchia prodigy has abandoned us forever, what will we ever do? And I'll be like 'Oh, gosh, I don't know, but if you need someone to fill the worship gap in your lives as the number 1 best, I'm always here for you!' And what will Sasuke have to say about it? 'Cluck, cluck, mother clucking cluck!' _

Naruto was lost in thought as he ran alongside the lake. "Hey there Naruto, why are you in such a hurry?" Naruto stopped to see Choji with (as always) his hand in a bag of potato chips. "Hey, maybe I should get some practice in first."

"What?"

"Animal personality jutsu!"

POOF!

"Wow Choji, I thought you would be a pig, but this suites you too, I guess."

A fat beaver waddled toward Naruto and bit him in the leg.

"Owww!"

"You suck Naruto! Now I can't eat my mom's barbequed beef tonight." Choji-beaver sat there and sulked, muttering to himself.

Out of nowhere Lee twirled over to see what was going on. "Friends! Is this a new jutsu? Let me assist you in your training!"

"Actually, I got to go, uh 'train' with Sasuke."

Lee clasped his hands together with his huge eyes watering. "Please! The second best use of a ninja's time (besides trying on different shades of green onesies) is helping his friends get stronger!"

"Okay, you asked for it. Animal personality jutsu!"

A squirrel stood where Lee once was twitching his nose and tail. A squirrel with a bowl haircut and Groucho Marx eyebrows.

Naruto fell over laughing. "Haha! Bushy brow has a bushy butt! Hey bushy-butt, have you lost your nuts, I mean, acorns again! Ha ha !"

"Okay, you have trained and had a laugh at my expense. Now please change me back."

"Wa? Actually, I let me get back to you two on that, I got to go find Owww!" Choji bit him on the leg again, and Lee threw an acorn at him.

"Now, Naruto," they both insisted in unison.

Naruto figured he better get out of there before Choji took his leg off, so he continued to run alongside the lake. Then someone caught his eye. Two someones..

I am a beginning writer who would love some reviews. Flame it to ashes, anything. Pretty please?

Chapter three is next, maybe in less than a week, promise!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Chapter 3.

Suddenly someone caught his eye. Two someones. Neji and Hinata were sparring by the lakeside,

"Hey Neji, come here!"

"Why?"

"Cuz."

"No, I'm busy, get lost"

"Busy getting your butt kicked by my girlfriend"

"What?" Neji lost concentration for one second and that's all Hinata needed to put hin on his face. "Gasp! I did it! I finally did it!" She started doing the Macarena.

"Hey Hinata, you wanna see something cool?"

"What?"

"Animal personality jutsu!"

POOF!

"Uh-oh"

Neji had turned into a pale eight foot long monitor lizard with pale eyes. The monitor looked at his body and then looked at Naruto. Before he could blink, Neji was on Naruto, trying to claw his heart out. Naruto wiggled free and grabbed Hinata. "Let's get out of here!"

They were chased for about half a mile until the sun went behind a cloud and Neji got to cold and had to find a warm place to lie.

Trying to catch their breath and talking, Hinata said "Wow, Neji is really mad at you this time."

"Whatever. Anyway Jiraiya taught me this jutsu."

Hinata had no doubt about that , but she just smiled and nodded.

"Hey, I wonder what kind of animal you'd be?"

"Oh! No, Naruto, I wouldn't..."

"Animal personality jutsu!"

POOF!

"Ha! Just what I thought. Yous a cwute wittle bunny wabbit arn't ooo? Awn't ooo?"

The navy blue bunny did a spinning jump kick on Naruto's face with extra chakra power in her feet, which sent Naruto flying into a nearby tree.

When he came to, Hinata bunny was sitting on his chest looking at him. "Hee hee, your not as shy as you used to be. Don't worry, I won't leave you like this. Here ear some food and you'll turn back to normal right away." Naruto pulled some old granola out of his sachet.

She ate it and POOF!

Hinata sat on the grass flaring up at him. Naruto figured he would rather just leave than explain himself. Maybe she wouldn't look so scarey later when she had calmed down. And he still hadn't make to Sasuke's house yet.

"Ah hah, anyway I think I gotta go do something, yeah...I'll see you later." With a cloud of dust Naruto hauled butt out of there, following the lake's edge around to Sasuke's house.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Do I really need to do this every chapter? Seriously. Just in case, I don't own Naruto.

Chapter 4

Shikamaru was laying under his favorite tree, half awake staring at the clouds. "Fluffy... so very fluffy..." Ino sat down next to him, with a lap full of flowers.

"What do you think of these flowers?"

"They're cool"

"You didn't even look at them."

"Hn"

Ino sighed. 'Who in their right mind wouldn't be interested in different types of wildflowers? This guy is hopeless.'

Sating off far in the distance, she saw a blonde kid running towards tem, 'Oh no, he's coming this way. He's so annoying.'

Naruto was about to run right past the pair when Ino screeched "Don't stop and bother us Naruto, we're really busy and your annoying so just keep running."

Of course that make him stop in his tracks. "Well, I bet then you don't want to hear about this sweet new jutsu I've been trying out on everyone. Shikamaru bothered to tun his head around so he could look at Naruto, You just had to keep your guard up around this hyperactive kid. "It's called animal personality jutsu. So far I've turned Choji into a beaver, Lee into a squirrel, Hinata into the world's cwutest bunny wabbit, and Neji into a huge lizard thingy."

"And your still alive, huh? Shikamaru sighed, disappointed.

"Oh course, because it's totally harmless, and you turn into the animal that best matches your personalty. "

"Oh, try me!"

"Ino, are you nuts?" Shikamaru propped himself up on his side.

"Well, won't I turn into something be-utiful? Like a unicorn?"

Shikamaru gave her an 'are-you-retarded' look and flopped back down, what was the point anyway?

Naruto grinned maliciously and made the hand signs. "Animal personality jutsu!"

POOF!

"See, what did I tell you Shikamaru? Be-utiful long shiny blonde hair, uh long tail, uh..."

"Look in the lake, Ino" Naruto giggled.

She walked over to the water's edge and looked at her reflection.

"I'm a dog! Ahhhhh! Naruto, I'm gonna kill you!" She had been turned into an afghan hound. She made a dash for him but kept tripping over her hair, or rather, her fur. "Shikamaru, help me beat him up, I cant.." she frantically asked, tripping again.

Shikamaru groaned and made like he was going to get up.

"Animal personality jutsu!"

POOF!

"Oh, crud." Naruto's eyes got big, and his jaw dropped.

Shikamaru had turned into a cougar, The big cat blinked a few times, looking at himself. Glaring at Naruto, he almost got up, but then looking at the sun which had just come out, he decided that basking would be a be4tter use of his time. Maybe he's beat up Naruto later, Maybe. If he felt like it. Naruto took off while Ino barked and cursed at him.

'Stupid kid.' Shikamaru muttered as he stretched out in the sun, yawning.

444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444

A/N: I am obviously not familiar with Japanese wildlife, so that's why most these animals are from the Midwestern US, because I know more of what they are like.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Panera bread or petunias.

Chapter 5

"Ok, time for the main event!" Naruto finally had Sasuke's house in view. 'Yes, chicken Sasuke, chicken Sasuke. Time to teach Mr. Perfect a lesson!' Naruto kicked down the door and saw Sasuke in his living room, watching TV. (I just gave him tv + living room, just go with it)

"What are you doing Naruto?"

"Sasuke, prepare to be defeated, Mwahahaha!"

"..."

"I said, prepare to be defeated Sasuke, Mwahaha!"

"Don't bother me, my program is on."

"Oh really, what are you watching?"

"Petunia growing for today's ninja"

"That's gay."

"What!" Prepare to defend yourself!"

"Animal personality jutsu!"

POOF!

A huge gorgeous black and silver wolf with golden eyes sat on the couch with a remote in his paw.

"AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!" YOU JUST HAD TO BE SOMETHING COOL, DIDN'T YOU! WHY? WHY?"

Sasuke wolf lunged at him and pinned him to the ground. "Change me back."

"No! Get off me, vicious doggy, or I'll call the humane society."

Sasuke took him by the throat.

"Ack! Ok, just ear something-not me- and you'll change back."

Sasuke dragged Naruto with him to the refrigerator (another plot hole, I know) and made Naruto fix him a sandwich.

"Chick breast on white with fa-free mayo, and put one of those little colored toothpicks in the middle, like they do at the overrated mall bread store."

"See? That's even a gay sandwich!" Sasuke bit him in the leg, Naruto screamed and dropped the sandwich. Sasuke ate it all in one gulp and changed back.

"So, no hard feelings, right?"

Suddenly they both heard voices at the door.

"He said he was going to Sasuke's maybe he's still here" Choji's voice came through first

"He will die, he will die, he will die..." Neji was heard next, mumbling to himself.

The door flew open and there was a beaver, squirrel, afghan hound, cougar, and monitor lizard.

All the animals looked at Naruto and Lee screamed in his helium voice, "Get him!"

"Wait!" Sasuke stepped in between Naruto and the murderous menagerie.

"He will die, he will die, he will die..." Shikamaru had to hold Neji back by the tail to keep him away from Naruto.

"What is it? Ino barked.

"Let's turn Naruto into an animal, and them beat him up!"Sasuke suggested.

"A just idea, friend!"Lee agreed, glaring at Naruto.

"Uh, hello? Only I know that jutsu, remember?" Naruto grinned arrogantly at Sasuke

"Sharingan"

"Oh no."

"Animal personality jutsu!"

POOF!

The blonde ferret scrambled for his life while the rest of the animal tried to catch him, He did a substitution justu and make it out of there when Shikamaru realized it wasn't him.

Naruto figure d it wouldn't help him any to ear and change back, so he just got away from there as quick as he could, Naruto hid and ran with stealth to Hinata's house, she would help him out.

555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555

Will Hinata help him out? I wouldn't! Next chapter is the last one!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Chapter 6

When Naruto got to the Hyuga mansion, he ran up the tree to her window and jumped though. Gasping for air, he collapsed on the floor. Just then, Hinata waked in the room.

"Ahh! A huge rat!"

"No! (pant pant) Hinata, it's me: Naruto! Everyone wants to beat me up!"

"Naruto, is that you? Well of course they want to beat you up."

"Please help me, Neji's gonna eat me!"

I dunno, Naruto, I didn't like being a rabbit to much Did you know when you were knocked out, Choji's dad tried to take me home and fricassee me?"

I'm sorry! Please help me! I won't ever experiment on you again!"

And the others?"

I won't experiment on them either! Hurry, I can hear them coming!"

"All right." Hinata scooped him up roughly and threw him into the closet. He landed on her pile of high heels, She slammed the closet door.

The animals had followed Naruto's scent to Hinata's window and were howling for his blood.

Hinata stuck her head out the window and tried to act surprised.

"Oh my goodness, what happened to you guys?

Your stupid bo friend did this! Off with his head!"

"Don't you know that if you ear something you'll change bak?"

"..."They all stared at her for a second.

"Oh, that I can do" Choji perked up.

"Come inside and I'll cook you all whatever you want."

The groups blood-thirst vanished, and they all went into the kitchen.

They are and changed back immediately, but Hinata kept feeding them until they were completely full.

"Burp. Oh yeah, have you seen Naruto, Hinata?" Choji asked.

"Hmm, no not since earlier today." Hinata looked down as she drank from her tea cup.

"Well, burp if you see him, tell him not to do that to us again, ok?"

"Sure thing, Choji." Hinata said, not looking up from her teacup. Choji, Lee, Neji, Ino and Shikamaru all filed out of the kitchen single file, holding their stomachs. They had pretty much forgotten all about Naruto, they were going to go take naps now.

A blonde ferret suddenly jumped up on the table.

"No rats on the table, Naruto, my dad's going to be angry enough. "Naruto grabbed an handful of spaghetti, and it and turned back. Then he helped her clean up the mess from cooking After making more apologies, he left the Hyuga mansion and started walking home.

"What a day."

As he walked home, he saw Jiraiya sitting by the bathhouse where he left him. The toad sage saw him and walked over. "So what kind of chaos did you cause today?"

"Uh, nothing much. Can you show me another technique? Like one for disappearing into thin air?"

"Sure. Its called the hit-and-run-like-a-sissy-coward-jutsu. Now this can be preformed in conjunction with use of paint ball guns, stink bombs..."

66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

Ta-Da! My second fanf. Naruto is not my favorite character in this series, but somehow both my stories seem to center around him. Go figure.


End file.
